FINED for pooping in public at 6:15am - The Paul Mort Podcast

FINED for pooping in public at 6:15am

September 26, 2016

WARNING: if you have zero sense of humour or don’t poop then you may want to skip this one…

So I used to run this 6:15am group training session here in South Shields

Same routine before going every morning

Get up, drink a coffee, take a shit

But I remember one morning after a heavy weekend partying

I hit the snooze button on the old iphone

My routine changed

I got up, grabbed a coffee, drank it in the car on the way to the class

Bleary eyed, we started the warm up and mobilization part



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The poop monster decided to wake up..

2 minutes later, I’m demoing a lateral lunge…

and touching cloth at the same time (nice image huh?)

So I’m in this big quandry

I’m teaching a session……

I live 10 mins away

and I HAVE TO, like MUST take a dump

Now, luckily for me… there’s a public toilet just around the corner


NOPE. the door is locked.

at this point, I’m sweating, getting cramps in my stomach

and I have a mars bar growing from my ass

What do I do?

I take a shit on the ground… right next to the public toilet

I mean, what else was I supposed to do? drop it in my undercrackers?

Don’t worry- it got scooped up, with a leaflet and put in the bin

FINALLY- went back to teaching the class

But just a few days later

In the post- I receive a SUMNMONS to go to court—>>>


SHIT… (pardon the pun)

apparently dropping your load in public is illegal

I got away with a fine and a warning

and am FOREVER reminded that hitting the snooze button

ALWAYS HAS A CONSEQUENCE.. usually you’ll MISS OUT on something

and usually, you’ll REGRET it

In your case, amigo?

I’m down to just ONE spot on the FINAL “Un-caged” Experience of 2016 you can find out more here:

Paul ‘turtles head’ Mort

PS- Was lucky enough to hang out with boxer Anthony Crolla this weekend before his world title match in front of 20,000 people Manchester Arena

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