WARNING: if you have zero sense of humour or don’t poop then you may want to skip this one…
So I used to run this 6:15am group training session here in South Shields
Same routine before going every morning
Get up, drink a coffee, take a shit
But I remember one morning after a heavy weekend partying
I hit the snooze button on the old iphone
My routine changed
I got up, grabbed a coffee, drank it in the car on the way to the class
Bleary eyed, we started the warm up and mobilization part
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The poop monster decided to wake up..
2 minutes later, I’m demoing a lateral lunge…
and touching cloth at the same time (nice image huh?)
So I’m in this big quandry
I’m teaching a session……
I live 10 mins away
and I HAVE TO, like MUST take a dump
Now, luckily for me… there’s a public toilet just around the corner
NOPE. the door is locked.
at this point, I’m sweating, getting cramps in my stomach
and I have a mars bar growing from my ass
What do I do?
I take a shit on the ground… right next to the public toilet
I mean, what else was I supposed to do? drop it in my undercrackers?
Don’t worry- it got scooped up, with a leaflet and put in the bin
FINALLY- went back to teaching the class
But just a few days later
In the post- I receive a SUMNMONS to go to court—>>>
The TOILETS HAD CCTV cameras…
SHIT… (pardon the pun)
apparently dropping your load in public is illegal
I got away with a fine and a warning
and am FOREVER reminded that hitting the snooze button
ALWAYS HAS A CONSEQUENCE.. usually you’ll MISS OUT on something
and usually, you’ll REGRET it
In your case, amigo?
I’m down to just ONE spot on the FINAL “Un-caged” Experience of 2016 you can find out more here:
Paul ‘turtles head’ Mort
PS- Was lucky enough to hang out with boxer Anthony Crolla this weekend before his world title match in front of 20,000 people Manchester Arena